A Thousand Points of Light

Such a Smooth Talker

Such a Smooth Talker

Of all the ridiculous fads that passed through this ridiculous country, there is no fad so ridiculous as the New Age.  Hula hoops, poodle skirts, and Elvis sightings pale in comparison.  If a nation reflects the mental state of its leaders, then all of America caught Reagan’s Alzheimer’s.  That’s the only way I can explain it.  It was like the entire country had fallen for the world’s biggest séance scam.  There were hundreds of ghosts, ghoulies, and things that go bump in the night coming back to tell we, the carnate, how to live our lives.  I often wonder how Deepak Chopra survived all the competition.  Should I outlive Dr. Chopra, I might decide to “channel” him just to see how many rubes fall for it.

America is a religion-happy country anyway.  Without any structures to hold it at bay, religion has multiplied like rabbits in Australia.  Religion has done as much to undermine American society as rabbits have undermined the Australian environment.  Like rabbits in Australia, religion has no natural predators in the U.S.  There are no laws or taxes to keep it under control.  Religion can do what it wants, say what it wants, defame who it wants, and there is nothing we can do about it.  Preachers can go up on the pulpit and tell their brainwashed minions who to vote for, but there is no way a bureaucrat can tell a religion what to believe.  There is something very unfair about that. Religion has us surrounded.  We are out-gunned and outnumbered.  They can see the whites of our eyes, yet we do not have anything to shoot back with.

Like all uniquely American religious movements, the New Age was based on predestination.  Americans seem to be terrified of free will and happenstance.  This is why Americans revere Albert Einstein and ignore Niels Bohr.  Einstein promised a unified field theory that would reduce, while Bohr and his Quantum Mechanics deny that a Unified Field Theory is even possible.  Based on random motion and statistics, Quantum Mechanics is the basis of modern physics.  Einstein never delivered on his unified field theory. Yet, despite the evidence, Americans insist that they have a make-believe friend that controls every aspect of their lives.

The New Age takes predestination and gives it a nasty twist.  In classical predestination, God decides who is saved and who is damned by blessing or cursing people on Earth.  Wealth is considered a sign of God’s salvation while poverty is a sign of damnation.  The New Age took this belief and brought it to new heights of idiocy.  According to the New Age, you decide everything that is going to happen to you while you are between lives.  To the New Agers it is not God who curses you with sickness, poverty, and terrible acne.  To the New Agers, you do it to yourself.  I had one New Ager tell me that she did not understand why people were so upset about the African famines.  The victims wanted to starve to death.  That’s why they decided to reincarnate as poor Black children.

If this is true, why don’t we all keep coming back as rich hedonists?  After we die, do we all go into our focus groups and decide who gets to be rich this time around?  Who gets to be poor?  Who gets to be the sex slave?  Do we argue over who gets to be monarch of England?  Who mediates when two disincorporated souls both want to come back as Emperor of the United States and Defender of Mexico?  Do we draw lots to see who has to come back as a Somalian or a San Francisco street person?

What comes around goes around. I suspect that is the only spiritual law that has any real validity.  Back in the Reagan years, people ignored the poor.  After all, if they didn’t want to be poor they would have decided to come back rich.  The streets filled with homeless, and the more fortunate congratulated each other for being spiritually advanced.  Today the more fortunate have watched their investments turn to toilet paper.  Their IRAs are worth less today than when they first started saving.  Many of them are waiting for the sheriff to evict them from their homes.

Do they ever look back at the 80s, and remember how warm and fuzzy they felt when George Bush the elder called them “A Thousand Points of Light”?  Do they ever stop and think about how spiritual they felt when they paid over a hundred dollars for a piece of quartz that might have cost the retailer a nickel?  I bet the thousand points of light are feeling like a bunch of dim bulbs today.  They bought into a load of shit.  It never occurred to them that all religious movements are a con.  Be it the Assembly of God or Church of all Worlds, religion and religious movements are means to remove money from fools.  The only thing that made the New Age different was its size and scope.

In any con there are always two criminals. The conman and the victim. The victim falls for the con because he wants something for nothing. In the case of the New Age, the victims wanted wealth without responsibility and selfishness without consequences. The results were that minorities were the ones who suffered the consequences. At least until the real estate meltdown began the slow slide into fiscal disaster. The question now is have the victims learned their lessons? Somehow I doubt it.

Not the Brightest of Lights

Not the Brightest of Lights

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