Street Fair Etiquette

Bill, Zack, and Colin

We are a Street Vendor Family

 

I want to thank everybody who avoided the malls and the chain stores to purchase holiday presents from independent merchants and craftspeople. My wife is one of those craftspeople She crochets and knits her little fingers to the bone to create the best quality hats, headbands, and other accessories for your enjoyment. A major part of our income is from selling her work on Telegraph Ave in Berkeley. As she is also a professional clown, (yes, I said clown, so stop snickering at me.) she was hired to work the Telegraph Ave Holiday Fair. I’ll give you three guesses as to who manned her stand while she twisted balloon animals for the kids.

It was a profitable fair for all the vendors despite the bad economy. We noticed that there were a lot of people who never shopped at street fairs before, which made things better for all of us. In gratitude for their patronage, I wrote up this quick etiquette guide for street fair shopping. There are going to be more street fairs leading up to Dec. 25th, and you can refer to this guide to make your shopping experience (and our selling experience) the happiest possible.

  1. The Management is Always Overworked. Remember this if you have a problem or complaint. The city has little to do with street fairs, except collecting fees and taxes. The actual management is usually a few vendors who put their hearts and souls into putting the fair together every year. They organize it, they get the permits, they sell the spaces, and they run it. The couple who put on the Telegraph Ave. fair even put on reflective vests and paint the spaces on the street. So if you have trouble or need help, be patient. They will get to you. Better still, if you had a good time, thank them. They deserve all the appreciation they get.

  2. We Are Not Employees. We vendors are neither paid employees nor city contractors. We are independent business people, licensed by the city. We have no influence with the guy beside us. If you have a problem with him, we cannot help you.

  3. Nor are We Abercrombie and Fitch. Hell we’re not even Wal-Mart. We don’t have managers emptying and renewing our cash drawers every half hour. On an average day, I go to the Avenue with only twenty dollars in change with me. On a Holiday Fair, I might start the day with fifty. So please remember to bring small bills. Don’t purchase a five dollar item and ask us to change a hundred. That’s the sort of thing that inspires street vendors to take up voodoo.

  4. On the Other Hand. There are special blessings to people who have exact change. There is a street vendor superstition that suggests angels follow people with exact change, and god makes flowers grow upon the ground they walk upon.

  5. Remember That We are Adults. We understand that not everybody who sees our wares will like them. We also understand that not everybody who wants to purchase our crafts can afford it. It’s okay if you don’t buy from us. I promise you, we won’t take it personally. If you say, “thank you, we’ll be back,” we’re big enough to know you’re unlikely to do so. There is no need to slink past our stalls like the puppy who stole the roast. If we wave, it means we like you. So wave back, smile, or even say hi. That way we know we made a friend even if we haven’t made the sale.

  6. We Love Dogs! I have only met two street vendors who don’t like dogs. One is allergic and the other is a very unhappy person. The rest of us love doggies to pieces. Some of us even bring our dogs with us to sleep under our tables. They are a wonderful thief deterrent. My wife and I bring our princess with us because she is old and likely to have an accident if we leave her home. As a rule, our doggies are friendly, but don’t assume. Please ask before you introduce your four legged family member to ours.

  7. Please Don’t Toss our Tables. We work hard to set up our tables. It takes an hour’s to set up our display, and it’s relatively simple. Other vendors work a lot longer to get their tables just right. People who pass by, pick up a handful of goods and thoughtlessly toss them back, are very inconsiderate. It’s okay to look at everything and not buy. Please don’t jumble everything and walk away. I am always surprised that a just and merciful deity doesn’t send a bolt of lightning up the spleens of people who do that.

  8. If You Buy Something For Yourself, Wear It. There are few things that make us happier than sitting at our booths watching happy customers wearing our work. It is a guaranteed smile.

  9. Don’t Give Your Toddler Red Juice or Soda and Bring Them To Our Tables. I don’t need to elaborate on that one, do I? Also, make sure you wipe the ice cream off little fingers. Thank you for your consideration.

  10. Remember To Tip The Clown. We can’t afford to pay the performers and musicians all that much. Like waiters, they depend on tips to make ends meet.

That about covers everything. If you follow these ten simple rules, we will all have a happy holiday shopping experience. Plus, you will have street vendors praying you into heaven rather than the opposite. My thanks to everybody who shopped at the Telegraph Ave. Street Fair. Even if you didn’t buy from us, chances are, you bought from one of our friends, and we are a very supportive community. You did a good thing by spending your holiday dollars with us rather than slave labor from China. You are all good people, for shopping at any street fair or from any American craftsperson. Thank you.

Have a happy holiday and a prosperous New Year.

Dozo on Telegraph

Remember to Tip the Clown

Advertisements

Why I Do Not Support the Occupation Movement.

The Senate in 2016

When the Fascists rose to power in Europe, they did so by demonizing their opponents. In Spain, they were against intellectuals educating the peasants as it was anti-Catholic. In Germany, they worked on centuries of bigotry by promoting the International Jewish Conspiracy. Mussolini did things differently. His fascism welded bigotry and anti-intellectualism to progressive ideas like a minimum wage and women’s suffrage. While the Germans and the Spanish made fascists out of their right wings, the Italians made fascists out of their left wing.

The American government propaganda machine managed to take the anti-intellectualism of Franco, the bigotry of Hitler, and the pseudo-progressive chauvinism of Mussolini and apply them to both the left and the right wing. The anti-intellectualism is promoted by conspiracy theories. The bigotry is promoted by applying conspiracy theories to different ethnic and political groups. The chauvinism comes in with both sides convincing themselves that they are the only side with the answers.

Conspiracy theory is the idea that science is lying if it does not conform to preconceived notions. For instance, conservative Christians insist that evolution is a conspiracy as it denies special creation. The Truthers insist that relativity is a conspiracy as it disproves their notion that the government rigged the towers with bombs. We are seeing anti-intellectualism at its worst on the left as well as the right.

Both sides of the political spectrum are applying conspiracy theories to different ethnic and political groups. In the case of the conservatives, the targets of hatred are Gays. They will tell you they have nothing against homosexuals (hate the sin, love the sinner, and the rest of that rot.) They will tell you that they are against the “homosexual agenda”. Thanks to conspiracy reasoning, they see the LGBT community demanding equal rights and acceptance as a direct attack on their conservative values. Gays are then demonized along with others who supports gay rights.

On the other hand, the left is scapegoating Jews. Just like their counterparts on the right, people on the left will tell you they have nothing against Jews, they are just against Zionism. These stalwart champions of human rights have no more idea of what Zionism is than Michelle Bachman knows what it is to be a lesbian. All they know is that Noam Chomsky is against it, which is good enough for them. That statement sums up what Bachman’s followers know about homosexuality. The left is as delusional as the right now that the Truthers have jumped in with their mad accusation of the Mossad and bombs in the tower.

Chauvinism is the result of both sides so wrapped up in their different conspiracies that reason becomes impossible. Elements on the left are out to protect America from the International Jewish Conspiracy, blaming Israel for everything from September 11th to Obama’s adopting Bush’s idiot wars. The right is blaming the homosexual agenda for high taxes and unemployment. Neither side can be spoken to. The result is the descendents of the same people who took control of this country in 1790 are in control of it today, and continue to rob us blind as the right tries to save us from homosexuality and the left from creeping Zionism.

The Right had their Tea Party where they promoted their anti-intellectualism and bigotry. Now the Left has their Occupation Movement where there are as many signs promoting Jew hatred as there are signs demanding the demise of Wall St. In Oakland, I have seen so many signs calling for the end of the Jewish Banking Conspiracy, I just gave up on it.

Any real revolution in this country has to do two things. The first is The Occupation has to get it’s shit together. This means that the wing-nuts have to go. The Truthers/anti-Zionists are as aggressive as Born Again Christians. They will drive out anybody who does not believe in their paranoid fantasies. I watched them do this to the peace movement. They will do the same to the Occupation. The second thing is creating a reasonable agenda that people on the right can at least discuss.  I have seen this on the Las Angeles Occupation website.  They have adopted an agenda that include basic rights like food, shelter, education, and Medical care.  So far, Los Angeles and Berkeley are the only two Occupations supporting basic human rights.  Other Occupations are being too divisive in their antisemitism and determination that the Jewish bankers be punished.  Unless the other Occupations catch up to Los Angeles and Berkeley, we are going to end up like Egypt and our fundamentalist religious military will take over.

And if you don’t think this can happen here in America, think again. The military is already dominated by Born Again Christians. The Air Force is the worst, and they have access to nukes. Rick Perry, in his latest round of idiocy, is calling for an end to civilian management of the military. This is the one thing separating us from a fascist dictatorship. It doesn’t matter if Perry becomes president or not, if Wall St. wants an end to civilian management, Wall St. is going to get it. After all, Wall St. actually runs this country and its propaganda mill. Besides, a military dictatorship is the usual way an imperialist nation ends.

After long and careful consideration, I will not be supporting the Occupation Movement unless those two criteria are met. My energy is going to keeping my family and me alive for the next ten years of military rule. Unless Americans abandon conspiracies for reason, this is all we have to look forward to.

Joseph Stalin

I knew Wall St would figure out how to do it. You make the kulaks enslave themselves



The Tea Party? Oh, It is to Laugh!

Tea Party Protester

But Rush Told Us That Tea Bags Magically Keep Away Liberals

Once upon a time, I associated tea parties with little girls and teddy bears sitting on little chairs around a tiny table. That cute little image has been permanently ruined by a bunch of raging morons marching around with tea bags hanging off their hats. Tea Parties are now associated with bullies tossing dollar bills at a sick man. What’s worse is that now tea parties are associated with screaming racism.

Things became absolutely surreal when the left wing press started calling the Tea Party, populist. When I first saw this on an Alternet article, I could not believe what I was reading. The Tea Party is no more populist than Goldman Sachs or the Democratic Party. The Tea Party is an AstroTurf  movement organized by the same Wall Street crooks who tanked the economy. The Tea Party is nothing but a smoke screen. Sean Hannity and our darling Sarah Palin are using time honored advertising techniques to whip the right wing true believers into a lynch mob. The stupid, the bigoted, the ignorant, and the arrogant are frightened. The economy has tanked, their retirements are in jeopardy, their mortgages are foreclosing. Their health care is inadequate. Credit card limits are dropping. Rather than organizing against the Wall Street criminals who caused it, they are organizing against their fellow victims. The poor, the minorities, the educated, and the progressive are all targets of Tea Bagger rage instead of the real cause of their problems.

Populism and populists movements have never been middle class. They have never had the support of Wall Street talking heads. Throughout American history they have been poor people’s movements. When the middle class gets involved it is for reasons of personal ethics, as illustrated by the Abolitionist and Civil Rights movements. The earliest recorded American populists were the Regulators. In the days before the Rapture was created, a large group of religious non-conformists got together to use government as a means of establishing the Millennium. Poor farmers, freed slaves, and wealthy plantation owners joined together to establish just laws that included abolition, progressive taxation, land ownership for tenant farmers, and free elections.

While the Regulators were finally wiped out in the Whiskey Rebellion, Populism lived on through the Abolition movement. Abolition was a movement that never died and still exists today. Despite attempts by the libertarians and John Birchers to rehabilitate the South, slavery was one of the main reasons the South tried to leave the Union. Abolitionists simply did not give a fiddler’s damn about state rights. Slavery was an abomination and the Abolitionists were out to end it. Like their Regulator grandfathers, the Abolitionists were using the power of the Federal Government to end a monstrous injustice.

Jump forward a few decades and look at the beginnings of the labor movement in the United States. I cannot think of a better example of a Populist Movement. The beginnings of the labor movement can be found in the churches. Free Methodists, Western Baptists, Congregationalists, and even Catholics were amongst the leaders of the early American unions. While there was a socialist labor movement going on in Europe, it had very little to do with the American movement until the beginning of the twentieth century. While the American press was yelling “anarchism” during the 19th Century, the unions were anything but. They were organized by their churches and they were not calling for the end of the American government. Rather they were demanding their voices in the American government. They were demanding that the government oversee safety standards, collective bargaining, and that the rich be taxed the same as the poor.

Here is another reason that the Tea party is not populist. Populist movements were never anti-tax. They knew that government did not happen by magic. All the populist movements from The Regulators to the Civil Rights movements of the 1960s knew full well that it was going to take tax money to make their dreams come true. The difference is that the populists were demanding that the rich be taxed the same as the poor. The income tax was a populist movement. The entire idea behind the income tax is that the corporations pay as well as the poor. “I’m a taxpayer and I have my rights” would mean the same to the poor as well as the rich.

Populism are movements that demand that special privileges become universal privileges. Nothing demonstrates this more than the Civil Rights Movement. Abolition neither died nor went to sleep after the civil war. Citizens of African descent continued to live in conditions little better than slavery. Jim Crow simply rubbed salt into the wounds. Separate can never be equal. Dr. King demanded that the vast resources of the US government be used to correct this injustice. Part of the correction that Dr. King demanded was that more tax money be placed into education and affirmative action.

That’s right, libertarians. Dr. King was behind affirmative action. I know this is not true in your fairy tale world of George Washington meets John Galt, but in the real world, Dr. King demanded affirmative action. The reaction of the bigots was to run around screaming “states rights” while turning the fire hoses on peaceful protesters. I mean really, what relevance do states rights have in the 21st Century? It was an idea that made sense in the 18th Century when it took weeks to travel from Philadelphia to New York by land. By the 19th Century such inventions as the telegraph and the railroads made states rights irrelevant. The civil war showed the practical limits of states rights.

The entire purpose of the Constitution was to establish a national tax base, place the armed forces under one command, and to establish a uniform code of law. Under the Constitution, the DEA has every right to come into California and close dispensaries. We may not agree with what they are doing, and I feel it is just wrong. However, it is constitutional and we are not going to accomplish anything by ignoring that unfortunate fact.

During the Whiskey Rebellion, George Washington sent tax collectors and marshals into Pennsylvania to enforce federal law over states rights. The president was made into the commander and chief of the armed forces. Under the Constitution, the state militias were called out to put down the Whiskey Rebellion. The militias of Pennsylvania were called up and those who did not support the Federal Government, were declared outlaw.

So there is nothing populist in the Tea Party movement. First of all, populist movements don’t really care about the Constitution. Quite often, like the income tax and women suffrage, populist movements demand changes in the Constitution. Populist movement are not anti-taxation but demand a fair tax burden and a fair distribution of tax money. But most telling of all, populist movements are all about justice and equality. The Tea Party exists to protect white middle class privilege.

It is fear of change more than anything else that inspires the Tea Party and other libertarian organizations. They live in a fantasy world where the western expansion is still happening and free market capitalism still works. Once again, Wall Street has proven the sham of the free market. Rather than accept this, the Tea Party has dived into a never ending pool of denial, and they have Fox News and Libertarian Radio to egg them on. If the Tea Party was reacting to reality, they would be preparing to dip Rush and Sean into a vat of tar and cover them with feathers.

Nothing exemplifies the American oppression of minorities more than the Tea Party. They cannot see beyond the color of the president’s skin. They ignore the fact that each of them pay more in taxes than Rush Limbaugh, and focus on the fact that minorities demand equality. Like the bigots in Alabama and like Barry Goldwater, they concentrate on non-existent states’ rights and ignore the basic racism of their arguments. They cry over being denied the special privileges enjoyed by Wall Street insiders. Rather than get angry with White Privilege Wall Street, they get angry at a non-existent “Gangsta Government”, demand a return to a Constitution that only exists in their imaginations, and they get ready to kill liberals.

The Tea Party Populist? It is to laugh.

Sarah Palin

Sieg Heil


Sometimes I Want A Taser

Ben Franklin

Why Subsidize Medicine When Leaches Are so Cheap

Scott Adams wrote a few cartoons where his character Dogbert had a taser, and he used it on everybody who annoyed him.   Sometimes I wish I lived in that world.  That way the next time somebody quotes Benjamin Franklin out of context, I can zap him with the taser until smoke pours out his ears.  Maybe then people will learn that they will never win a point by quoting somebody out of context.   Ben Franklin was speaking of standing armies when he said, “he who would sacrifice a little bit of liberty for a little bit of security, will lose both and deserve neither.”   Franklin was against standing armies while other delegates to the Constitutional Convention were very much in favor of them.   Like all of Franklin’s other Constitutional ideas, it was ignored.

In the last few years I have seen that quote applied to such diverse matters as cameras at stop-lights, the enforcement of libel laws, September 11th conspiracies, breaking the media monopolies, health care, weapons of mass destruction, cell phones, and the income tax.   Not once has anybody applied that quote to standing armies.   It has become the all purpose response when there is no other argument.   When shown proof that cameras at stop-lights reduce traffic fatalities, out comes the quote. When presented with an idea that journalistic standards and ethics be enforced again, there is always the quote.   I have no idea what Franklin would say about national health, but I hardly think he would equate it with standing armies.   Suggesting that September 11th conspiracists should take their medications becomes a threat to liberty.  The quote has become an internet meme which has completely lost any meaning.   It is another way of covering your ears and singing, “la la la, I can’t hear you.”

Nor has this become the sole example of quoting out of context.   Recently Glenn Beck has been trotting out Thomas Paine in support of the tea baggers.  Paine was part of a social movement called the Populists.   He advocated a progressive tax on wealth, welfare, subsidized farm loans, and representative democracy.   He even declared health to be a basic human right.   It just goes to show you that any point can be won if the person being quoted is dead.  Paine was an anti-federalist who strongly advocated for the original American Confederacy of 1780-1790.   Upon his return to the United States in 1802, he lived in obscurity for seven years and his funeral was ignored.  Once he was dead, he immediately became the darling of the nation.  Great monuments were built in his honor, and Common Sense has been quoted out of context by public school teachers for over a century.

In a recent interview, former pro-wrestler turned politician, Jesse Ventura, criticized the Democrats and the Republicans for not working together.  I will be the first to admit it when Ventura says something intelligent.   It happens so rarely.  Then Ventura had to ruin it by quoting the founding fathers out of context.  He said that George Washington, John Adams and others warned us against the dangers of political parties.   If I lived in Scott Adams’ world, I would zap Ventura with my taser until lightning came out of his nose.  The founders liked the two party system just fine.  It was the many political parties being formed in England they were scared of. Different factions were creating their own political parties and having them elected to Parliament.  In order to get anything done, the different factions had to work together to create a compromise.  This is the foundation of Parliamentary Democracy.  The delegates, Ministers of Parliament, Congresspeople, whatever you want to call them, directly represent their constituents and get them the best deal possible.  That was what our founding fathers were worried about.   They wanted to make sure their people stayed on top.

The Constitution represents a naked power grab by a faction in government whom we now call the Federalists.   Had the revolution not happened, George Washington would have been jailed by Britain for his shady land deals.   Alexander Hamilton was very well connected to the American and British financial industry.  He and his relative by marriage, Robert Morris, worked together on a bond scam that defrauded the Revolutionary enlisted soldiers of their back pay.   Even the leader of the anti-federalist movement, Thomas Jefferson, was a wealthy landowner as well as a slave owner who held his own children as property.  These were not people who particularly cared about the rights of other people.  When Jefferson became president, he continued the Federalist system and liked it.

Our Federalist founders created a system which imitated the British court of the time.  Our president has the exact same powers as the Constitutional Monarch.  He is the head of the army, disperses funds, oversees the execution of the law, industry, diplomacy, etc, through his cabinet.  Originally the Senate was appointed by the state governments. There are no term limits for the Supreme Court, and British common law gives any American judge the same power as a British duke.  Alexander Hamilton created a taxation system where the wealthy were barely taxed and the poor and lower middle class maintained most of the tax burden. Washington selected his cabinet from industrialists and landowners.  You did not find Patrick Henry or Herman Husband amongst his closest advisers. To this day the cabinet is selected from the wealthy to serve the interests of the wealthy, and the Supreme Court Justices are selected by their loyalty to the monied interests.

Due process in law has always been at the whim of our government.  Four years after the Constitution was ratified, Washington’s Attorney General declared that the Constitution did not apply to anyone accused of rebelling against the United States.  Suspects in the Whiskey Rebellion were arrested without warrant.  They were paraded down Market Street in Philadelphia as traitors, and tossed into an unheated cell without food or light.   This was a precedent John Yoo turned to in his torture memos.   In a foreshadowing of Guantanamo, all twenty men were found not guilty, even though the judges gave instructions to enter a verdict of guilty.  Over the years due process has also been denied to freed slaves, European immigrants, and anyone else without the funds to buy due process.

Those tea baggers, and anarchist libertarians who talk about freedom within the Constitution have no idea what they are talking about.  The United States was never a representative democracy.  Our president is chosen by the electoral college, so I don’t even know why we bother with the popular vote.   It’s all show anyway.  Our Congress and Senate are representatives of military industrial complex, just as our federalist founders wanted it.  There has never been a time when the wealthy paid their share in taxes, and a poor man has rarely won against a rich man in court.  That is how our legal system is set up.  The Bill of Rights was a major concession won by the few populist delegates to the Constitutional Convention, but even the Bill of Rights is interpreted through the Supreme Court, which historically championed Jim Crow.

When Libertarians prattle on about a return to the Constitution, I wish I was Dogbert so I can tase them until they do the Monster Mash.  The America they talk about never existed in the real world.  Maybe if they walked through a wardrobe and traveled through Narnia, Aslan might direct them to it.  We are living in the exact America the Federalists wanted.   A return to the Constitution is only going to cement corporate control over this country.   If we want to change the country, we need to look to the future. Trying to return to the past never works.  The clock never ticks backwards, and trying to solve today’s problems with yesterday’s solutions only makes things worse.   Look at what happened to Germany when they tried it.

Obama and Clinton

Then I Told Them I Was Against National Health and They Still Elected Me


Herman Husband: The Forgotten Founder

Herman Husband.(Author’s note.  The original head photo was John Adams.  This composite sketch was lent to me courtesy of http://wethepeoplegame.com/ and Bob Snizek.  They hold all legal rights to it.)

 

His hair was unkempt for it had not been brushed in years.   His clothes were tattered and mended; they were meant for farm work and not for addressing the members of the Pennsylvania Assembly.  Yet he stood before the assembled leaders of colonial Pennsylvania and he preached fire and brimstone.   He called down the wrath of God upon the crowned heads of Europe and the land speculators in New York.  He preached the New Jerusalem on the American Continent.  His America was one that Superman would be proud of for it was founded on Truth and Justice. Staring at his audience, no, his congregation, with eyes of fire, he preached the damnation of slaveholders, and condemned those who abused the natives to eternal hellfire. When he was finished, his audience rose to applaud their hero. His name was Herman Husband. His detractors called him the Mad Man of the Mountains, but his fellow members of the Pennsylvania assembly called him a man of God.

Born to a wealthy family in Maryland, Husband got religion from working for his tavern keeper uncle. That same uncle also taught him the value of hard work. Those lessons were so well learned that young Herman could not readjust to the frivolous life of a Maryland plantation owner’s son. He found their vapid imitation of British court life sinful, and he could not abide slavery. He soon moved away and bought his own plantation. He left the Anglican Church, which he felt was the home of the antichrist, and joined the Quakers. Proving that there was no fanatic quite like a convert, Husband became the most dedicated of Quakers. Forsaking all vanity, he refused to brush his hair and wore only work clothes. Even though his plantation and business interests made him a very wealthy man, he lived as frugally as a pauper. Despite his frugality and his uncompromising religious beliefs, his children adored him, and all three of his wives felt he was the world’s greatest mate.

His first wife gladly converted to the Society of Friends, his second wife joined him in exile when the Quaker elders banished him, and his third wife and all his children helped him escape when King George had a price on his head. Husband refused to compromise when it came to religion. It was his firm belief that God spoke to each and every human being regardless of race or gender. When he criticized the Quaker elders for forbidding revelation contrary to Quaker doctrine, the elders banished him. Husband could care less. His church was the invisible church on the right hand of God. No earthly authority had the right to tell him he wasn’t one of the elect.

Husband joined with fellow banished Quakers, angry Baptists, defrocked Methodists, and other heretics who became what is known as the Regulators. They did not earn that name for their religious beliefs. On the contrary, religion was the most unregulated thing about them. To them, accepting Jesus as their lord and savior automatically made them the equals of any popes or bishops. They could not care less about historic inaccuracies in the Bible. To them, the book was a divination tool. The will of God was revealed through relating the Bible stories to the modern world. It mattered not to them that there was no historic Moses, the Ten Commandments were still God’s own truth.

While the Regulators could not agree on dogma or ritual, they did agree on politics. Amazingly, the Regulators were in total agreement that God wanted a progressive tax on wealth. It also came to a surprise to George Washington that God hated land speculators and wanted title given to the people who actually developed the land. Alexander Hamilton was not amused to hear that God demanded low interest loans to farmers. Imagine Thomas Jefferson’s outrage when he discovered that the Almighty not only wanted him to free his slaves, but to pay reparations for the indignities of being owned. The Regulators also felt that Africans and Native Americans had equal rights in the eyes of God and both should enjoy full civil rights on earth.

The name Regulators came from their belief that good government was government that protected the rights of the poor from the depredations of the wealthy. Laws should be passed to assure everybody of equal opportunities, and that everybody had an equal voice in government. Back when George Washington was still having tea with the Royal Governor of Virginia, and John Adams was campaigning for a British peerage, the Regulators were calling for an America free of European tyranny. The King was not happy, nor were the governors of Maryland and Virginia. It was not long before the Regulators became an illegal organization and Herman Husband fled into the mountains of Pennsylvania.

Husband the fugitive came to settle in the Allegheny Mountains. Known only as the Quaker, he worked amongst the the trappers and hunters who settled around Pittsburgh. Eventually he built a homestead where his wife and children joined him. His neighbors respected him not just as a farmer but as a preacher. He shared his vision of the American West as a new Jerusalem, and his dream of welcoming the reign of Christ through establishing just laws. In those days before the Rapture became dogma, Christians believed that the reign of Christ could be brought into existence through the efforts of human beings. Husband had a vision of the New Jerusalem ruled through a complex legislature based on strict term limits. His neighbors so loved his vision that they elected him to the Pennsylvania legislature twice.

There was no greater champion of the American Revolution than Herman Husband. To him, George Washington was a latter day Joshua, bringing down the walls of the British Jericho. Later, Husband would be shocked and dismayed by his hero. Not only was Washington an absentee land owner in Husband’s own beloved Alleghenies, but Washington’s presidency was a repudiation of everything Husband lived and worked for. The grand old man of the Regulators saw the Constitution as a work of Satan, and a means for the rich to exploit and abuse the poor. Having the general who led the revolution as the first president under that Satanic document almost shattered Husband’s belief in God.

Almost, but not quite. Despite the unfair taxation that exploited his neighbors, and laws that protected land speculators from prosecution from their tenants, Husband continued to believe. He continued to preach his New Jerusalem based on the equality of man. He continued to preach a progressive tax against wealth, civil rights for all, and an end to the damnable institution of slavery. When his neighbors rebelled against the Federal Government over Hamilton’s Whiskey Tax, which provided the likes of George Washington with a lucrative monopoly, Herman Husband was the first to join in.

He was also to be the first of many to be arrested without due process and the only one to be prosecuted for the crime of sedition. There were many Federalists who heard him preach against a government that forced hard working farmers off their land, and imposing taxes that sent working men into the poor house. Worse of all, he preached against slavery, and in the early days of the US government, that was a constitutional violation. Out of the 28 people to be prosecuted for the Whiskey Rebellion, Herman Husband was one of two to be found guilty. The rest were found not guilty despite judge’s orders to enter a guilty verdict. Washington, adroit politician that he was, pardoned him so he would not become a martyr to the anti Federalist cause. The pardon didn’t come a minute too soon. Herman Husband contracted pneumonia from being kept in an unheated cell in December and died soon after being released.

Poor Herman Husband never lived to see his American Jerusalem and was betrayed by the very heroes he prayed for. The religious movement he helped to found transmuted into today’s religious right. The social movement he helped start continued after his death, and later influenced such thinkers as Karl Marx and Charles Dickens. I find it funny that the only founding father I have any affection for was the great-grandfather of today’s born again movement. If there was any Christian who truly deserved heaven, it was Herman Husband, because it was he and not Washington or Jefferson, and especially not Hamilton, who embodied the American spirit of Liberty and Equality. Only Herman Husband embodied the best qualities of the religious and of the socialist. May his memory be restored as an example to us all.

Footnote

John Adams

Those White Savages Actually Think They Can Rule Themselves?


They All Must Have Fallen Out of the Stupid Tree

King of England

We Told You So

The scariest thing about libertarians is that they can vote.   As a general rule they cannot tell the difference between The Declaration of Independence, the U.S. Constitution, and The Federalist Papers.  They are so gullible they actually believe the income tax is illegal and so ignorant that there is no way to explain it to them.  As Glen Cook puts it, they fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.   Unfortunately for us and the rest of the world, there are no IQ provisions for citizenship. Libertarians can vote. Small wonder the economy is tanking around us.

In Libertarian Land, I think the American Revolution went down something like this.   Little Tommy Jefferson went into their clubhouse (with the no icky girls allowed sign on the door.) and said, “That George III is a real poophead.  I don’t want to play with him anymore.”

And little Al Hamilton replied, “Me too.   Let’s get rid of him.”

Georgie Washington added “I’m tired of playing with this hatchet.   Let’s have a revolution instead. You got book learnin’, Tommy.   Why don’t you write him a letter and tell him to go soak his head?”

In the real world, the founders of America were a very diverse group. Many shared a common tie with the Masons, which only reaffirms the Mason’s mission of bringing different people together.   Jefferson and Washington spoke for the southern agrarian plantation owners.  Alexander Hamilton was the most progressive of the founders, but even he spoke primarily for the northern industrialists.  Then there were other founders such as John Adams and John Jay who were determined to see to it that the wealthy had the same special privileges as they had under England.   All these people were brought together out of a common need to escape British rule.   Jefferson wanted an agrarian utopia while Adams wanted a hereditary Senate in imitation of the British House of Lords, but all put aside their differences to achieve a common goal.

The Declaration of Independence was a legal document telling the British Monarch that the colonies were demanding independence.   It has no standing in American Law.   It was an inspiring piece penned by the inimitable Jefferson.   It had the effect of winning the loyalty of those who were going to die in the upcoming war.  Still, the Declaration of Independence was written in the proper legal language of the time.  When they said “All Men are created equal”, it was not the generic term as it is generally used.   Men was defined as people of substance with money or property.  It did not include women who were still chattel. It did not mean slaves or children.  They were legally chattel as well.   Men meant upper class white males.

By the end of the revolution, African slavery was still an accepted institution.   Children were still sold into apprenticeship and adults could still sell themselves into indentured servitude.   You could still be jailed for your debts and most of the thirteen states limited the vote to people above a certain income level.  In the State of Maryland you had to be both wealthy and Catholic to vote.  In Massachusetts you were only allowed to vote if you were a Congregationalist.   Each state was autonomous and sent representatives to Philadelphia mostly to negotiate trade.   Britain was killing the colonial industries by supplying finished goods at prices local craftsmen would not beat.  The south still sold its cotton to England but at much lower prices. New York and New Jersey went to war over access to New York Harbor.  The Free Market reigned supreme and the only one happy about it was England.

Thirteen independent nations were being eaten to death by England and internal rivalry.   Free Market capitalism was tearing the fledgling US into shreds and leaving the door open to England walking in and taking America back without a shot being fired.  This is why there is a Constitution.   This is why we are not the Confederated States of America.   The wealthiest and most influential men in the new nation joined together to create a more perfect union.  That is why they needed the Federalist Papers.

Keep in mind there was a lot of resistance to a Constitution. On the whole the southern states wanted it. They needed protection from England purchasing their cotton for too little money. On the other hand, the northern states had influential citizens who were making a fortune by buying cheap finished goods from Europe and a tariff would cut into their trade. So Madison, Hamilton, and Jay got together and wrote newspaper articles in favor of the Constitution. Put together, the Federalist Papers are a fascinating document. It outlines the philosophy behind the Constitution. It explains the economic and political conditions of the day. It has little to do with the Constitution itself.

 

You will find nothing inspiring in the Constitution. This is why the libertarian propagandists rarely quote it and libertarians never read it.   It is as bland as oatmeal and as exciting as watching hot grannies knit sweaters. Alexander Hamilton did not conceive it after a night of peyote buttons and cheap tequila.  The Constitution of the United States was written by a committee.  Many people worked on the Constitution, and the finished document had little in common with the hopes of the Federalist Papers. Alexander Hamilton fought against the Bill of Rights.  Jay must have cursed when the rabble were awarded the vote, but managed to slip in the electoral college anyway.  The south was happy to get a central government which could both ratify and enforce treaties with Europe.  The north was pissed because the new Federal Government could impose and enforce tariffs, ending England’s domination of American trade.   More to the point, the new Federal Government had the right to impose and collect taxes.  How and when the Federal Government can regulate business is written into the Constitution, even though Hamilton and Madison both argued against it.

The most frustrating thing about the Constitution is its vagueness.  It was a document that was designed to change with the times.   You can peruse the constitution all your life but you will not find one word that enshrines capitalism as our only possible economic system.   There is no clause that makes the income tax illegal.  There is nothing that says we have to vote for either Democrats or Republicans.  The people who joined together to create the Constitution understood that conditions change.  They expected their tomorrow to be different than their today, and they left it to us as to how we wanted to interpret the Constitution.  The Constitution shall not fall because we voted for the single payer system.   There is nothing unconstitutional about unions.

The libertarians have forgotten that the American Revolution was more than the hand full of dead statesmen they canonized into their lords and saviors. They forgot that Jefferson had very little influence on the Constitution. Alexander Hamilton created the first American Tax, and that Washington lead troops to put down the Whiskey Tax rebellion. They are like Christianoids and the Bible. They have no idea of what the Constitution says or represents but parrot any damned babble that their leaders tell them. Laws that protect American industries, impose taxes, and impose limits to unacceptable behavior are written in the Constitution. Libertarians can hold their breath and kick their heels all they want, and it will still not change the fact that they are the greatest threat to the Constitution since George III.

Queen of England

And We Are Not Taking You Back


How To Sell A Subprime Mortgage Part Three: Taking The Application.

21st Century Gothic

21st Century Gothic

Writing these blog posts has been difficult. It has forced me to look at 25 years in sales and ask myself If I have been doing the right thing. Working for Aames was not the right thing to do, and I wonder why I never realized that before. The biggest wrong I committed, while working for Aames, was convincing myself that I was helping people. Any help I may have given my customers was purely short term assistance. Many of my customers who were granted lower interest rates were given three years fixed mortgages. After three years, their interest rates went variable. Very few of those loans had ceilings. The logic behind this was it gave them a chance to fix their credit so they could refinance again before their mortgage rates went through the roof. In actual fact we were being too optimistic. Between outsourcing and salary stagnation, chances were that in three years those people’s credit were in worse shape than ever. Then after three years their mortgages went through the roof.

Belief is a very strong factor in any sale. If the salesperson does not believe in the product, neither will the customer. There were just too many reps who did not believe in what they were selling. That should have warned me that something was wrong. I knew one salesperson who sold through intimidation. He specialized in single female home owners, and subtly threatened them into signing. Then he grabbed the commission check and ran to another company before the hammer came down. I knew another salesperson who specialized in single male homeowners. Her usual working clothes was a leather mini split up to the waist at the side, and a very low cut top.

Despite these signs that things were totally wrong, I continued to believe in what I was doing. Conviction is more than half of sales. An effective salesman believes in what he is selling or is a good enough actor to truly make the customer believe in what he is doing. It occurs to me that there are many more actors in sales than I originally thought.

Conviction was the difference between getting the application and credit report or not getting the application and earning the wrath of Aames. Aames had a lot of really idiotic rules, but one of the worst was their insistence on running credit reports for all customers. I had more than one customer offer to fax or email me their most recent credit report. Later, I would work for companies that were fine with customers faxing their credit reports. However to complete an application for Aames you had to run the credit report, and in order to do that you had to get the customer’s social security number.

To this day I am amazed at the amount of people who gave me their social security numbers over the phone. I always left the social security number for last. I would get the customer on the phone and we would talk a little bit and I would talk him into giving a phone application. I specialized in calling people with high interest variable loans, and they were desperate to get out from under. It was easy for me to get them to apply. The biggest objection I had to overcome were the people who had tried over and over again and kept getting turned down. I usually gave them a pep-talk. I encouraged them to take one more chance while mentioning all the people with shaky credit that Aames managed to help.

I always started with the basics. I would ask their names and addresses and get them talking about their homes and their mortgage woes. I would make appropriately sympathetic sounds as they volunteered the information I needed to put on the form. Once in a while I had to give them a little help. Older people had no idea of the market value of their homes. Generally they made me put a too low value on it. By the time I reached the end of the application, I was an old friend. That’s when I asked for the social security number.

About one in three just gave it to me. Not only did they give it to me, but called their spouses at work to get his or her social security number since I needed to pull a joint credit report About two out of three customers gave me a hard time. This is where belief comes in. I promised them that they were in no danger, their credit scores would not go down and their identities were safe. When I realized that too many credit hits would bring down a customer’s credit scores, I stopped promising that. I would estimate a safe time to pull their credit scores and schedule them for a call back at that time. You would not believe the amount of crap I had to live through when I was caught doing it. The Regional or district manager who caught me backing out on an application would lecture me mercilessly. My job was to get the application and not to worry about the state of the customer’s credit. So when I got the occasional person who was just not going to give me his social security number, I made it a point to argue with them when the brass was listening. It made me look good.

I was very careful with personal information. I would shred my notes and make sure that my copies of the applications were put safely away where nobody could get them. I was the only one. Everybody else just put their notes in the trash and old applications and notes were available for anybody to rifle through and pull out and use. These notes not only included the social security number but birthdays and addresses. Everything you needed for full scale identity theft was in that office. It only recently occurred to me that there was an entire room full of filing cabinets which was never locked and anybody could go through and pull out whatever information they wanted.

That was what I did for Aames Home Loan for a forty hour six day week. Most of my applications were rejected for various reasons. The most common was bad credit. Unlike other companies, Aames was very careful of the credit scores of the loans they accepted. That meant that most of Aames’s customers could have gotten a better deal elsewhere So the beginning of my month would see about two dozen loans in my pipeline but on a really good month, only two or three would fund. Somehow that was my fault for finding the wrong customers. In Aames Home Loan, failure was always an underling’s fault.

Pop Goes The World

Pop Goes The World