This Post is for my friend Mikki.
Capitalism did not exactly take the intellectual world by storm. The intellectual elite and Bohemians of the 17th and 18th Centuries found it to be as bad an idea as Royalty. After all, Henry VIII began ennobling Capitalist burghers back in the 1600s. By the time the U.S Constitution was ratified, European Royalty were entirely capitalists and worked in tandem to keep the commoners out of commerce. By the early 1800s, the European intellectuals were waiting for the new American capitalists to become as corrupt and effete as European royalty.
One of the new Capitalist institutions that scared European thinkers the most was the concept of the corporation. Corporations were seen as monsters ravaging the lives of Europeans and Americans alike. Corporations were institutions where the wealthy could pool their resources and be treated as a single entity. Corporations were considered legal individuals under the law, were subjected to special lower taxes, and commanded resources well beyond the capability of individual mortals. Corporations could turn their vast financial powers against smaller and vulnerable individual business people. Corporations were so hated that Mary Shelley wrote a book about them. It was called Frankenstein.
An animated soulless corpse mindlessly destroying the countryside was indeed an apt simile to describe the corporations. The fledgling United States soon found them to be the greatest enemy of individual freedom and a healthy economy ever faced. President Jackson was forced to impose laws to prevent corporations from price fixing, salary fixing, and destroying competition. The corporations responded by trying to have Jackson impeached and removed from office for accepting a hogshead of cheese. They failed and the rest of the history of the United States can be seen as the federal government protecting the freedoms of its citizens from the depredations of the corporations.
The early 20th Century saw the next phase of the corporate attack on human rights and freedoms. It was called Fascism. Fascism is a system of government where the natural resources and production strength of a nation is held in trust for the corporations. Mussolini coined the phrase fascism because his friends did not like his original name for the philosophy: Corporationism. In Fascism the government removes all laws regulating the behavior of corporations, while maintaining the laws which protect corporations from individuals. For instance, in Nazi Germany, the Volkswagen corporation was privately held but was subsidized by German tax money. All corporations enjoyed the same rights to the point where there was no real competition in Germany and the corporations were dictating policy to Hitler and the Reichstags. The fact is that Germany fell long before the allies invaded Berlin, the corporations ate Germany like a cancer.
Indeed, we frequently go through periods when the corporations destroy us like a plague of locusts. The last time resulted in the crash of 1929. This time we are going through a series of crashes which are doing more long term damage to our economy than corporations have ever done before These crashes are not prevented because we have our own fascist movement which is very active in the United States today. It is misnamed The Libertarian Party and it is working hand in hand with the neocons to deprive us all of our rights and our freedoms.
Over the next two weeks I will be examining the Libertarian party in light of the 14 points of fascism. I will show how the Libertarians are pursuing the same goals and intentions of the Nazi party and how they are using the same propaganda and misdirection that the Nazis used to take power. I do so in hopes that people will see through the lies of the Libertarian corporate lap-dogs and in hopes that the citizens of the United States will take back their government before it is too late.
Alright, I was wrong. Hillary Clinton will not be the next POTUS. I guess the memory of her husband’s misAdministration is too vivid in the national memory for a Clinton rerun. Maybe the American people are regaining the brains they lost during the Reagan campaign. They are not voting for the wife of the crook who signed NAFTA into existence. Maybe the people who just lost their homes remember how Bill Clinton destroyed the social safety net . I most certainly remember that Bill Clinton signed the Financial Reform Act of 1998, which was a major factor in the stock market crash of 2000 and the mortgage meltdown of last year. Whatever the reason, the wife of the crook who pulled the great National Health boondoggle will not be president.
So now we are going to have Barack Obama as our next POTUS. I know that he is going to be the POTUS because McCain’s divorce has been all over FOX McNews and CNN. If McCain was supposed to be POTUS, his divorce would be sat on like they sat on Poppa-Doc Bush’s connection with the Moonies or Baby-Doc Bush’s coke habit. The morally hypocritical American voter would never vote for a divorced president. Look at how the Democrats have been whoring themselves to the religious right. So we are going to have a Black candidate for POTUS and his slogan is “Dare to Hope”. Okay, what is it that we can dare to hope for?
Presidential Administrations follow a certain pattern. The Republicans come into office and rape and ruin the economy and then the Democrats come in and are forced to make some very unpopular decisions in order to repair the economy. Sometimes these are long term decisions. For instance, Jimmy Carter ascended to the Oval Office after 6 years of Nixon and two of Ford. The economy was being strangled from the results of the Vietnam War and the job market was being choked by returning vets. Carter had to raise the interest rates to slow inflation, raise taxes to restore the treasury, and give tax breaks and special low interest business loans to encourage new industry and new jobs. Four years later, the Reagan team took over and took credit for all of Jimmy Carter’s unpopular work.
Barack Obama is going to take over the Oval Office at the end of the Bush misAdministration. Need I say more? Bush has led the crookedest administration since U.S. Grant. Obama will take charge of a treasury that has been utterly raped through corporate welfare, faith based initiatives, irrational taxation, and the Iraq war. The treasury has been so badly depleted that the U.S government has been forced to sell our interstate highways and bridges to multinationals just to make payroll. Oil consumption has passed critical mass years ago. Obama’s energy policy made perfect sense 20 years ago, but today it’s too little too late. Since our GNP is held together entirely by oil production, Obama is looking forward to massive inflation as the dollar devalues. Only an idiot would want to be president after Bush.
Jesus Christ and all Twelve Apostles could not repair the mess that Bush will leave behind. It may appear that Obama can walk on water, but the truth is that he is only another politician. I do not expect him to do what needs to be done to clean up the mess. I do not expect Obama to stand up to the multinationals that have sucked the wealth out of this nation. I do not expect Obama to stop corporate welfare or to even force corporations to pay their fair share of taxes. The president does not possess a magic wand to make there be more oil. Oil prices will continue to rise as extraction and refinement become more and more difficult. As oil production drops, so will the value of the dollar. Since we cannot expect big business to return industry to American soil, the economy will go totally to hell.
So while Obama tries to repair the damage, he is going to have a Greek Chorus of Republicans telling us how things were better under Bush. Obama gets to take the blame for eight years of corporate welfare and subsidizing Christianoid megachurches. He will take the blame for the coming oil shortage, even though there is enough blame for that to go all the way back to the FDR Administration. The U.S. will undoubtedly attack Iran in order to maintain the dollar, and Obama will get the blame for that as well.
Then come 2012, and the Republicans will strut around like peacocks, telling us what a hero G.W Bush was. They will tell us that we should never have elected a Democrat. Bush will have done all the damage, but Obama will get all the blame.
There are times when I feel as if I am living in a dream. I start thinking that I got really toasted at a frat party and crashed in the back room. Any minute now I am going to be woken up by a horny coed and discover that the last 30 years never happened. Ol’ Rotten Ronnie Rayguns had never been elected president. The American public laughed him out of politics as they reelected Carter in a landslide victory. In the next election Walter Mondale and his running mate, Jessie Jackson will lead America into a golden age where American jobs were never outsourced and unions continued keeping America working. The War on Poverty ended by us kicking poverty in the ass instead of poverty kicking ours. Hybrid cars were introduced in 1985, and subsidized by a tax on the petroleum industry. Global Warming was not stopped, but it was kept in check through careful management of our precious and irreplaceable planet. That’s the reality I wish I could wake up to.
I simply have to accept the fact that I am awake and living in the Red King’s dream. The world is a waking nightmare where the poor are blamed for their own plight as their jobs are shipped off to the mysterious east. One of cable T.V.’s top shows is about a woman who has to sell pot in order to maintain a middle class lifestyle, and nobody sees this as strange. There was a time when I thought the world could not become as surreal as the New Age of the Reagan Administration. Can anything be more ridiculous than grown-ups gazing into crystals while their fellow citizens are being reduced to homelessness, and then blaming the homeless for not being spiritual enough? Holy Protestant Work Ethic, Batman!
At this point, I have to assume that the Red King is peaking on whatever drug he’s tripping on, because now Nancy Pelosi has adopted Paris Hilton’s energy policy. I want some of whatever the Red King’s tripping on! Maybe then I can see something good about off shore drilling and nuclear reactors. Forget about off shore drilling. The difficulty and expense of extracting the oil, combined with the expense and difficulty of refining the crude into petroleum, will not reverse rising gas prices. All it will accomplish is assuring oil company profits. Nuclear reactors are an even more idiotic idea. Reactor grade uranium is amongst the most dangerous substances in the world, and what do they do with it? They use it to boil water for a giant steam engine! If that steam engine runs out of water, the uranium will melt down to the center of the earth and poisons us all. Aside from the peril, reactor grade uranium is even rarer than oil, and will run out in under 20 years of steady use. Besides, the only thing that anyone has thought to do with the waste is use it for tank and bullet casings or to irradiate food. The entire Middle East is going to become an unlivable nuclear wasteland in a matter of years due to depleted uranium, and god alone knows what irradiated food will do to us. Once again, the only thing that nuclear reactors are good for is creating corporate profits.
I think that the Red King is tripping on petrochemicals and we are all sharing his hallucinations. Economists and geologists have been warning us that the oil is running out since I was a young teenager. There is no source of oil as cheap and easy to refine as Middle Eastern oil. We had a taste of things to come back in 1973 and 1979 when OPEC flexed its muscles and embargoed oil to the U.S . We had rationing and rising gas prices then, but all the Red King did was what he needed to do to assure himself a steady supply of candy. Then he went right back to dreaming up idiocies like SUVs and Hummers. What do you think the Red King is going to do when the Middle Eastern oil is really runs out? Other sources of oil are simply not as easy to extract nor as cheap to refine. Oil prices are going to continue to rise until the Red King won’t be able to afford his addiction any more.
Like all addicts, the Red King makes up excuses for his actions. For instance, Intelligent Design is one of those lies. Intelligent Design denies that oil is millions of years old and constitutes the remains of dinosaurs. I.T also implies that God will simply add in more dinosaur juice while we’re not looking. Face it fundies, God is not adding more oil while we are not looking. Maybe in another billion years we’ll be the dinosaur juice that the cockroaches will be using to fill their gas tanks. Until then we are going to have to get ready for when the Red King starts going cold turkey after he can no longer afford the gasoline that powers his delusions.
Right now the Red King is panicking because his candy supply is running short. Like any other junkie, he’s using more of his drug of choice as the panic sets in. Just as a junkie will mug somebody in the street in order to feed his habit, the Red King sent troops into Iraq to make sure he has what he needs to feel good. Rather than rationing himself and making what he has last, the Red King is snorting up the oil like it’s going out of style. Still, the Red King is denying that he has a problem. Everything is somebody else’s fault and never his. The Red King will blame Middle Eastern terrorists for hating America. The Red King will blame OPEC and Hugo Chavez for wanting to make a fair profit on their resources. The Red King will even blame the very geologists and ecologists who have been warning him of his addiction. Everyone gets blamed except the Red King himself.
So where does that leave the multinational oil companies who have been the Red King’s pushers? As oil becomes scarce and prices rise, they are running around like ants trying to keep the Red King calm. They are promising him things they cannot deliver. They are promising to do something about the price of gasoline in defiance of the laws of supply and demand. Other sources of oil are too hard to extract and too wasteful to refine to be cheap and profitable. Yet the oil corporations are telling the Red King that exploiting our Alaskan wilderness and ruining our beaches with off shore drilling will bring back cheap gas. McCain, Obama, and Clinton are proposing energy policies that could have worked in 1979, but the Red King didn’t want to cut his Oil Consumption back then. He was busy denying that he was an addict and claiming that he could stop anytime he wanted. Today it is too late. They are crushing oil out of shale in Saudi Arabia, and the Iraqi oil fields are on fire. The Red King is starting withdrawal right in the face and he’s panicking so badly he’s ready to send out the troops to mug Iran.
So what are the multinationals going to do when the Red King starts going into withdrawal after over 100 years of petrochemical addiction? They are going to do what any pusher will do when they are about to get caught; they are going to run away. They are going to pack up all their oil profits and disappear. When the tweaked out Red King comes looking for them, all the Red King is going to find is Barack Obama in the White House. That’s right people, America’s oil pushers are going to leave the Black Guy holding the bag while the Red King tweaks.
Who here actually believes that the next president is going to be any more legitimate than the last president? If the voting machines were rigged to give us 8 full years of the Bush misAdministration, what makes you think that a Democrat is going to be legally elected? Oh, we are going to end up with a Democrat in the White House in 2008. I Have no doubt about that. If McCain was meant to be president, the news services wouldn’t be pushing his divorce so heavily nor would they be emphasizing Obama’s stable relationship. I cannot remember the last time Hillary Clinton had been embarrassed by a Monica joke. I think that the fix is in. We are going to have a Democrat in office in 2008 for all the good it is going to do us.
Yet the Democrats seem to be playing along with this. Take a good look at the 2004 election. The Democrats were playing that one to lose. Who was running? John Kerry and Howard Dean. Neither candidate promised to end the Iraq war. Neither candidate promised to levy fair and just taxes on the corporations. Both candidates were in favor of restoring the draft. John Kerry’s wife is a mover and shaker in the Republican party and John was famous for voting for everything that Bush asked for. Dean, as former governor of Vermont, automatically gets a seat on the board of directors of National Life of Vermont. I used to be an agent for NLV. I remember that when the Iraq war started, one of their top agents made his staff recite the Pledge of Allegiance before meetings. The fact that Dean is now head of the Democratic National Committee shows there is collusion going on between the two parties. Is there any other reason that Pelosi took impeachment off the table?
In the 1992 presidential campaign, Bill Clinton promised us a national health plan. We did not get a national health plan. Clinton palled around with Newt Gingrich and screwed us out of our social safety net instead. I bet a lot of people who were cheering about all those welfare mothers having to get jobs see things differently now that they are the welfare mothers. These are the people who are cheering Obama because the want change. I’m sorry to break this to them, but Obama is not going to bring us any change. If Obama was going to bring change, he would not be on the ballot. I hear that Hillary has been acting like the queen of the Democratic Convention. Why not? I think that she had been promised the presidency when Bill left office. That’s why she became the senator of a state she barely stepped foot in before she ran for office. Hillary Clinton is not the Senator from New York. She was never from New York. She never lived in New York before she ran for the Senate. Hillary Clinton is the Senator from Wal-Mart.
Regardless of which one of the Democratic Bobbsey Twins wins the nomination, all we are going to get is more of the same that we got from Clinton. The next president is going into a government which has been bankrupted by the current misAdministration. Clinton or Obama will try to raise taxes on the middle class while continuing to give tax-breaks to the corporations. Can you really expect Chevron to start paying its fair share after not paying any taxes in 8 years? Do you really think that Microsoft and Google are really going to stop outsourcing their tech jobs and pay a living wage to U.S workers? Do you really think that either Obama or Clinton will put their feet down and do what has to be done to save the status quo? Personally I doubt it.
The Bush misAdministration has run America into the ground to the point where they are selling our national highways and bridges just to make payroll. Outsourcing has destroyed our industrial infrastructure so that only oil production is keeping our dollar afloat. Without industrial jobs or a social safety net, only the black market keeps most of our poorest eating. I strongly doubt that either Clinton or Obama is going to end the Iraq war. America needs those oil fields to keep our GNP up and the dollar solvent. Without oil production, corporations might have to lose profit by bringing jobs back to America
The only differences between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats are telling us what we want to hear. This is why I am not voting for either of them. What possible use is it to choose between two corporately approved candidates who are not going to do what is needed to get us out of this mess? I want change but I’m old enough to know that I am not going to get it now. I don’t care if McCain wins because at least McCain is honest enough not to whisper sweet nothings in my ear before he screws me. So I am voting for a third party candidate because it is the only way to vote against corporate domination in American politics.
Fellow Camp Followers, are you as outraged as I am? Some bean counter at the election board is trying to tell me that Paris Hilton cannot run for president because Paris is too young? Can you believe that? Can you believe the outright audacity of it? This is blatant age discrimination against us dirty old men. How dare they tell mature white male voters that we cannot vote for the candidate of our choice. What is this, Soviet Russia where the state tells us who to vote for?
To make things worse, you will never guess what excuse they used to block Paris’s candidacy? They had the nerve to tell me that Paris cannot run because of the Constitution! Who cares about the Constitution? It’s just a piece of paper, people. I mean, who pays attention to it anymore? Who the hell cares that the Constitution says that you have to be 35 in order to be president? By the time Paris is 35, she won’t be worth voting for. We want Paris now!
The worst of it is the hypocrisy. Right now we have a president in the White House who was not elected through Constitutional means. Nobody kicked Bush out into the gutters of Pennsylvania Avenue just because he cheated in the election. Nobody stops Bush when he gives billions of dollars to Sun Young Moon through his faith based initiatives. Nobody has stopped the government from denying undocumented workers their legal rights under the 14th amendment. Who cares about the prisoners being illegally held in Gitmo, the lies behind the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, or illegal wiretapping? Nobody seems to care about any of that, and some clerk has the nerve to tell me that my candidate cannot run for the presidency? The nerve of some people.
So the bean counters and the nit-pickers are going to waste more tax-payer’s money by making us do this the hard way. The “public servant” I spoke to said that we would have to have a Constitutional amendment in order to be able to vote for Paris. I say why bother amending something that everybody only pays selective attention to? Let’s just ignore the Constitution and vote for Paris anyway. After all, if the current POTUS can just ignore the constitution any time he wants, why the hell can’t we?
So vote for Paris Hilton, the Only Change that Matters in Washington.
I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that everybody I know is getting on my case about my candidate or that nobody has been leaving any comments on my blog. If I didn’t know better, I would start thinking that everybody thinks I’m just a doddering old crank. Well everybody who knows me in real life already knows that I’m just a doddering old crank, but has everyone on the world wide web already figured that out? Come on, This is only my third post on WordPress. Give me a little more time before you come to the same opinion that my real world friends have already come to. Do you have to be so quick to realize the obvious?
But really, what does me being a doddering old crank have to do with Paris’s candidacy? Paris Hilton would make a great president. I mean really, she may not be the brightest light in the disco, but we survived eight years of Reagan and he was senile. We survived having James Watts as Secretary of the Interior, could Paris do any worse by giving that Job to Snoop Dog? George W. Bush may also not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but we already learned from Reagan that intelligence is not a prerequisite for being president. I mean, you don’t see Noam Chomsky running for president. So what if Paris wants Fabio to be the Secretary of State? He couldn’t possibly do a worse job than Rice and besides, he has a hot accent just like Kissinger.
So Paris drinks a bit. What the hell, so did Nixon. Nixon bugged the oval office and kept illegal records of his conversations. Paris would put a webcam in the presidential bedroom, and the SCOTUS has already declared that to be free and protected speech. So what’s the problem? It would certainly give Fox News something to report, and give Rush Limbaugh lots of important things to rant about. And if you are worried that she will be like Bill Clinton and be indulging in oral sex in the Oval Office, at least she won’t be asking for it in public rest rooms like Larry Craig.
A Paris presidency will be the best thing that ever happened to American politics. It will keep the masses entertained with all the sex and scandal it could want without as much as threatening corporate interests. I mean really, why pay attention to the War in Iraq, Global Warming, The Christianoid take-over of the Justice Dept. and the military, the real estate melt down, rising gas prices, and unemployment when you could be paying attention to Paris? Think of all the tax money that could be saved by Paris creating her own scandals instead of having scandals thought up by public relations agents? The White House could cut its staffing in half just from the P.R. Hacks they could fire.
Now a lot of my friends get really angry at me when I tell them this. They tell me that they are voting for Obama because they want change in government. They want change they can count on. Well, I always say that if you want to see where a candidate really stands, go and see how he votes when the public isn’t looking. So I show them this website.
Type in Barack Obama and you can see how Obama voted on all the major issues. I know how excited you Obama supporters are to be able to see just how your man is going to create change in the government. I don’t really have the heart to tell you that Obama has either abstained or failed to be present at most of the votes that matter the most. He abstained from voting on the Iraq war. He voted in favor of some minor health care reforms, but otherwise, Obama has been utterly neutral in all the major issues that affect this country. So it is a total fantasy to think that Obama represents any sort of change in this country, and if you are going to vote for a fantasy; I say vote for a fantasy you can get off on.
This November, Vote for Paris Hilton, The Only Change That Matters In Washington.