We’re Going to Get Yoo

Support Torture: Buy My Book

Sixteen protesters and 25 cops showed up at the John Yoo Torture Memos protest on Feb 11th. There were only sixteen protesters. It took 25 cops to protect Yoo from us. One of us was using a wheel chair. Another of us was 76 years old. I have a bad back and my wife and I both have arthritis. That effectively left 12 potential rioters against 25 armed peace officers. I suppose it was worth the taxpayer’s money so John Yoo would feel safe from us. Wait, I’m wrong. One of my wife’s friends from her Code Pink group is also disabled and sat in a camp chair. Another was wearing a fifty pound John Yoo bobble head. So there were effectively 10 potential rioters against 25 armed cops. It’s a good thing that some of them were from the SWAT team.

To the officers’ credit, they were the most professional police force on earth. They took their job damned seriously. If there was going to be an actual attempt to harm Yoo, they were ready. They were also smart enough to know that we constituted no danger. Also to their credit, they stood up for our First Amendment rights. They did not force us to disperse. They did not force us into a “Free Speech Zone” two miles away. Traffic flow and liability were their main concerns. They saw to it that traffic flowed smoothly and that John Yoo would have to go past us in order to leave.

It doesn’t look good for Dr. Yoo. Britain is giving its infamous MI5 security agency a public reaming for the torture of British citizens in Guantanamo. Yes, Virginia, there are people named Mohamad who are British Citizens, and England is pissed. It looks as if secret documents are going to be made public as MI5 agents are tried for not informing their government.

Meanwhile Dick Cheney is working his motormouth on television. Cheney confirmed that Yoo co-wrote the Torture Memos to rationalize the use of torture. Cheney wanted torture so Yoo told him what he wanted to hear. What’s worse, what is the absolute bitter end, is that Cheney also admitted to ordering three people tortured.

He ordered three people tortured? Who was he to order three people tortured? Hell, since when can the vice president order anything except a pizza? What happened to the days when one brother goes to sea while his other brother becomes vice-president, and nobody ever hears from either of them again? Since when does the vice president order anybody tortured? Not only is Big Mouth Cheney admitting to torturing people, but he’s admitting that the executive office ignores the constitution. The vice presidency is traditionally the golden road to political obscurity. I wonder if it was John Yoo who told Cheney he had the right to order people tortured?

So Yoo must know that the jig is up. He knows that he can run and cannot hide. If he had a brain in his head he would be fleeing to Argentina about now. He is being sued by somebody who was wrongfully tortured in Guantanamo. MI5 is being placed on public trial for allowing British Citizens to be tortured. Now his former boss is spilling the beans to the press. Even Holder’s gutless Justice Department is saying he showed “poor judgment.” The weasel is completely and totally screwed, and now he is just wiggling around trying to justify his actions.

I hoped to post a link to his book tour, so people could find out where he is going to be speaking, and stage their own protests. Guess what? He didn’t publish his itinerary. John Yoo is conducting the country’s first clandestine book signing tour. He has become a man of mystery. Nobody knows where he will show up next. Today a country club in Taos New Mexico. Tomorrow a luncheon with the Young Republicans in Chicago. Each time he strikes, he leaves his autograph in a few of his books, which justifies torture by rationalizing the high handed presidents of the past. Like Waldo, it takes highly developed powers of observation to find him. If you do find him and are going to hold a protest, I will be glad to send you the songs and chants Code Pink has been using. It’ll make him feel at home.

Yoo complains that all this protesting is intimidating him. Why? Is he afraid we’re going to waterboard him? Is he afraid that we are going to pull him off the street and hide him in an undisclosed location? Of course not. Unlike Yoo, we believe in rule by law. We are demanding due process for Yoo, which is more than the people he is responsible for torturing get. This is why UC Berkeley will not disclose where he is lecturing. This is why his book tour is being treated like a ninja assault. This is why he hid on his way out of the Poplar Creek Golf Club.

I was standing at a funny angle so I saw him when he left the golf club. He got into a green SUV with tinted windows. A blond woman was at the wheel. Before they reached the exit, he hunkered down in the front seat so we could not see him. I knew he was in that vehicle, so I shouted “John Yoo is a wuss!”

Send in the next prisoner, Dr. Yoo

Who Is John Galt

Who Is John Galt?

The Question on Everybody's Mind

Tea baggers across the country have this bumper sticker on their gas guzzling SUVs.  It asks who is John Galt?   Being literate, we know that John Galt is the mysterious stranger of Ayn Rand’s epic piece of capitalist drivel, Atlas Shrugged.   Rand, a Soviet refugee, brought PTSD to new heights when she declared that anybody who did not smoke is a communist, and accused tobacco researchers of treason.   Despite this obviously Stalinist line of reasoning, Rand continues to be the darling of the libertarian right.  Just who is John Galt?

Rand gets really cute in the name she gives her character.  His first name is the most common in the English speaking world.  That represents his populist roots.  His last name Galt, sounds like a Anglo-Saxon surname, but it is also the alias used by the God Odin when he walked amongst humans. Odin was in the habit of handing doomed swords out to unsuspecting vikings, and when asked, Odin would say he was Galt.   At that point the viking would know that he was completely and totally screwed.  If he followed the course of common sense, dropped the sword, and ran like hell, he would earn the wrath of Odin.   If he kept the sword, he would be led to a particularly tragic and heroic doom.  So Galt is God Almighty, but a particularly sadistic and untrustworthy God who has no use for free will.

Now, what captains of industry do we know who are in the habit of giving out cursed gifts?   I can think of two right off the top of my head: Henry Ford and Prescott Bush.  Their support of Hitler and the Third Reich resulted in death, devastation, destruction, and the systematic murder of 10 million human beings.   It ended in the deaths of many Nazi leaders; most dramatically in Joseph Goebbel’s murder of his innocent daughters.  I think it is safe to assume that John Galt is somebody who thinks he’s God Almighty, and does not shrink at murder as a means to an end.   As a God, Odin was a great fan of war and destruction, we can say that John Galt is a warmonger.

To understand why John Galt is such a bloodthirsty bastard, we need to look at the Odin myth a little more closely.  Why did Odin, reputably the wisest of the Gods, have this compulsion to create death, destruction, and misery amongst the mortal population?   He was serving a higher purpose, and one that only he in his wisdom could truly understand.  The other gods had a partial understanding of that purpose, and mere humans could receive glimpses of that purpose.   Only Odin could see the whole purpose, and he gave up an eye to do it.   Like Odin, John Galt is the one eyed man in the land of the blind.  The world depends on his vision so that it can keep on turning.  This is why the Supreme Court ruled that corporations have the same rights as human beings.  Captains of industry, CEOs, Chairmen of the board are all ubermench. It is only right that they have more power than us lesser mortals who are too humble to share in their great vision.

Next, you may ask, what is this great vision Galt cannot share with the rest of us mere mortals?  Simply that there is a war coming up between the good guys and the bad guys.  It will be the war to end all wars and humanity needs to be ready for it.  Odin keep humanity in training by stirring up wars, and choosing the best of the slain to be his warriors when the final conflict happens.  Our captains of industry, our John Galts, also see a great war coming, but instead of the Frost Giants, we’ll be fighting godless communists. No, that was two generations back.   Instead of the Frost Giants, we’ll be fighting the drug cartels in South America. That really didn’t work out that well. This time, we will be fighting the Jihadists. True, they are a handful of extremists whom our forces chase around the Himalayas like it was a Keystone Kops movie, but they are the enemy that will destroy our way of life!  We better get them before they get us.

Ultimately who is John Galt? He is a war mongering bastard who does not care how many people he has to have killed to achieve his goals.  He is a captain of industry who knows better than the rest of us as to how we should run our lives.   He is a man with such power that governments declares anybody who opposes him as the powers of darkness.  John Galt is a man who kings and presidents listen to because in Galt’s mind he is always right.  What historic figure fits this mold?  There is only one, Joseph Stalin.

Stalin began as a peasant and worked himself up to the head of the Soviet Union through his own talents for murder and lack of ethics.  Stalin was responsible for the deaths of millions, and used the needs of the state justification.  Stalin was a strong man who commanded the resources of all of Mother Russia and a good chunk of Eastern Europe to boot.  On top of everything else, the crazy bastard thought he was God.  To this day, there are Russians who still support and apologize for Joe Stalin.

Ayn Rand took the Stalinist qualities that so scarred her as a child and deified them into her character of John Galt.  Let’s bring things back to reality here.  Who is John Galt?  John Galt is a parasite who grew up in a privileged class and accepts these privileges as part of his due.   You can also look at John Galt as Bill Cosby, a man who feels that he owes nobody anything because he paid his own way into the upper class.   John Galt can be seen as National Security Advisor Susan Rice, who does not want the world to think that she got her job through affirmative action.   After all, her grandfather paid blood to bring his family into the ruling class.   George W. Bush is also John Galt. We all know that the draft was created for poor people, and not the son of the EXXON heir.  John Galt is every politician in Washington who denies the majority of Americans jobs and health care.

John Galt is useless, because if John Galt was really all that talented, he could make it to the top in any economic system or society.  This makes Galt just another one of Timmy Geithner’s Wall St. cronies, stealing money from honest tax payers.  That’s who John Galt really is.   Stop and remember, Stalin made it to the top by robbing banks.


I was very surprised to discover an article about Rand on Alternet today.  (Okay, I admit it, my wife discovered it for me.)  In this chilling article, we see that Rand was a serial killer groupie, and that her heroes was based on a sicko who strangled and dismembered a little girl.  What does this say about the people who take her nonsense seriously.  What’s worse, is that Alan Greenspan was one of her buddies.

Joseph Stalin

I Am What Libertarians Long For In Their Secret Hearts

Bush Is Hosting A Meeting

True Love

True Love

On November 15, our lame turkey president is hosting a meeting of world leaders.  Fear not, oh libertarians, your Shrubby champion will urge his fellow despots to support “Democratic Capitalism”.   What the hell is “Democratic Capitalism”?   Is that anything like National Socialism?   Baby-Doc Bush states that it’s about free markets, free enterprise, and free trade. Note that the operative word here is free, as in Scot free; as in “you watch out for the cops while we mug the housing market”.   The U.S government doesn’t even make a pretense to honesty anymore.  America watched as our congress divided up a 750 billion dollar swag amongst the very crooks who ripped us off.   Frankly, I don’t understand why they even bother outlawing street mugging anymore.  Maybe it’s because Wall St. can’t stand the competition?

According to the Yahoo! article, the location of the meeting has not yet been announced.  People speculate that it’s to foil protesters.  I think it’s so there are no witnesses.  This is the second time in 80 years that the U.S has caused a worldwide economic meltdown.   I think that the location is a secret because the rest of the world’s leaders don’t want any witnesses.   Rumor has it that Gordon Brown’s valet caught the Prime Minister packing a cosh into his briefcase.  There are also whispers about secret meetings between Brown and Kevin Rudd at a Malaysian pub frequented by mercenaries.  There are speculations that the PM of Japan was spotted at secret meetings with the Yakuza.  Then again, this may all be baseless rumors and the world leaders are simply going to rat pack poor Dubya.

Our fearless leader’s spokesrat said that it was unlikely that they would come to an accord on the first meeting.   Well, duh! Baby-Doc Bush only has two months left before his exit plan.  Bush’s exit plan is to pack his bags and leave the mess for the next guy to deal with.  The only question is whether he heads for South America like Bohrmann, or simply exiles himself in Florida like O.J. So really, what can we expect Dubya to do except do a holding action while Wall St. CEOs stuff money in duffel bags and high tail it West Palm Beach? You can’t send out of state subpoenas into Florida.

Seriously, what possible use can come out of a meeting with Baby-Doc Bush? The man is totally Wall St. He doesn’t hear anything he doesn’t want to hear. He ignores criticism and doesn’t care what his own constituents want.  What makes the rest of the world think that he’s going to do anything positive about the situation he put the world into?   It’s not as if Bush was actually in charge. He is the front man for the same team that was in office when Nixon was president.   Nixon was too drunk most of the time to be effective.   Reagan was senile.  Bush is just simply too stupid to really understand what is going on.   So unless the leaders of the world plan on rat packing George and kicking him to death, I cannot imagine what they hope to accomplish.

The real danger of this meeting is not that Bush will take it over.   At this stage of the game, America has ceased to be a player in the world economy. The only thing we produce is oil, and that is a rapidly disappearing commodity. We do not grow our own crops any more.  The lion’s share of our production was sent overseas.   It looks like our leaders have screwed the pooch by outsourcing America to death.   The biggest danger we face is being set aside and ignored.  The rest of the world can fix their own economies and simply let the U.S stew in its own juices.

I can just imagine the libertarians are going to love that! . Oh, those rocket scientists would dance and sing and hug each other while toasting the return of small capitalism.  Then they would realize that the price of small capitalism is a short and brutish life without the amenities they think are theirs by right. There won’t be time to post on the Internet when they have to go out and grow their own damned beans.   There has never been a day when America was not a part of the world economy.   Watch what happens to our currency once we are set adrift.

I hope the next president will have the brains god gave a rock. With good luck the SEC and the FTC will be restored.  Maybe this free enterprise garbage will be reinterpreted.  Free enterprise should not mean being able to steal anything not nailed down.  Otherwise we can look forward to a very grim future.

Nancy is Their Hag

Nancy is Their Hag

If I Play Enough Videos Games, Will I Be A Real Ninja?

It Was All Goldfinger's Fault

It Was All Goldfinger's Fault

I’ll tell you one thing, September 11th Conspiracy theorists are a tenacious lot.  The only group of people more determined to avoid reality is Right Wing Christianoids. The conspiracy people even use the same bullying tactics and peer pressure arguments that the Christianoids use.   “Why do you believe the government’s story?” is one such accusation they throw at me.  This is reminiscent of the Christianoids telling me that if I don’t believe in Jesus, then I must be worshiping Satan.   Its a black and white thing to these people; if you do not accept their party line then you are a government dupe.   It never occurs to them that both they and the government could be full of it.

September 11th conspiracy folk are in denial about the stupidity of the people who run this once great nation.   I can hardly blame them for that.   It is a hard thing to acknowledge that our leaders have IQs lower than our shoe sizes.   Yet look what happened to New Orleans with Katrina.  The entire Washington cabal was in denial over the situation.  They paid no attention to it.  Then they panicked after they could no longer deny the seriousness of the disaster.  Panic seems to be the constant state of the Bush Administration.  Bin Laden could not possibly have picked a better President to attack.   When the planes hit, Bush and his comic opera cohorts panicked and attacked Afghanistan.  To this day we have no idea what Bush thought he would accomplish.  It was simply a panic reaction to give the people at home the illusion that somebody competent was in charge.

I suspect that September 11th conspiracy people are having trouble understanding the utter depths of stupidity that humanity is capable of.  The idea that utterly incompetent people are running the country scares them to death.  A conspiracy provides them with the same comfort that Jesus supplies to Christianoids.  The idea is that somebody is in charge even if that somebody is Goldfinger.   At least Goldfinger is smart.

One of the arguments that the conspiracy people keep throwing out at me is, how did the government figure out that it was bin Laden so quickly?   Well, it’s like this.  The FBI tried to warn Bush that the attack was going to happen.  The CIA tried to warn Rice that it was going to happen.  They got escorted out of her office for their their troubles.  The Mossad tried to warn Bush that the attack was going to happen.  So did French and Swiss security.   The Swiss know about it.   So after the planes hit their targets, Bush said, “duh, it must have been bin Laden”..

The most damning evidence of Bush’s stupidity is the war in Iraq.  Hey, we all knew that there was going to be a war in Iraq.  We knew that before Bush was elected.  Bill Clinton bombed Iraq to raise himself in the polls.   After he bombed Baghdad he called himself the comeback kid.  Clinton had less provocation than Bush and he came out smelling like a rose.  Bush and his buddies are so stupid that they screwed up.  If it was a conspiracy, don’t you think that the Bush Administration would have cooked up better excuses?   Even Nancy Pelosi is having trouble covering for Bush’s incompetence

September 11th conspiracies are also an emotional outlet for a feeling of powerlessness.  It is an expression of frustration for situations that people feel helpless about.   It’s hard to admit that you lost your home and your job was outsourced to Timbuktu because the people in charge are too stupid to pound sand.   It is also an excuse not to do anything about it.   How does one fight Goldfinger? Nobody even knows where Goldfinger is.  Since unions are vilified in our current libertarian atmosphere, how does one deal with a government that does not listen?  A couple of good national strikes would get Bush’s attention, but strikes would be communist.

Were I George W. Bush, I would be hiring PR specialists by the dozen, and have them cranking out September 11th conspiracies by the bushel. It’s the greatest thing to ever happen to the stupidest administration since Grant.  The idea of a secret cabal calling the shots certainly takes Bush off the hook.   It absolves him of responsibility for all his actions, from stealing the election to the Iraq war. Sometimes September 11th conspiracies remind me of the Royalists during the French Revolution who insisted that the king was being manipulated by a secret cabal of Masons.  Like the Conspiracy people of today, the Royalists would do anything to avoid admitting that their king was stupid.

September 11th theorists will do anything to avoid admitting that we are being led to destruction by morons.  One asked why bin Laden’s people went to the United States to learn to fly when bin Laden had a perfectly good flight stimulator.   Well, if I play enough video games will I become a ninja?  You actually have to get into a plane to learn to fly it.  Simulators just don’t do it for any real flying.   Another argument is that there has to be a conspiracy because the conspirators are still rich.  That argument is straight out of the Protestant Work Ethic.   Of course rich people are smarter than we are.  God made them that way.  The fact that our current crop of political howler monkeys triggered a world wide stock market crash must be part of their cunning plan. This means that the conspirators must be Blackadder and Baldric.   Nobody else could possibly be that stupid.

Bush Is A Tough Act To Follow

Bush Is A Tough Act To Follow

Come On All You Haters; Follow the Paris Camp

The Only Candidate With Nothing Up Her Sleeve

The Only Candidate With Nothing Up Her Sleeve

I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that everybody I know is getting on my case about my candidate or that nobody has been leaving any comments on my blog. If I didn’t know better, I would start thinking that everybody thinks I’m just a doddering old crank. Well everybody who knows me in real life already knows that I’m just a doddering old crank, but has everyone on the world wide web already figured that out? Come on, This is only my third post on WordPress. Give me a little more time before you come to the same opinion that my real world friends have already come to. Do you have to be so quick to realize the obvious?

But really, what does me being a doddering old crank have to do with Paris’s candidacy? Paris Hilton would make a great president. I mean really, she may not be the brightest light in the disco, but we survived eight years of Reagan and he was senile. We survived having James Watts as Secretary of the Interior, could Paris do any worse by giving that Job to Snoop Dog? George W. Bush may also not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but we already learned from Reagan that intelligence is not a prerequisite for being president. I mean, you don’t see Noam Chomsky running for president. So what if Paris wants Fabio to be the Secretary of State? He couldn’t possibly do a worse job than Rice and besides, he has a hot accent just like Kissinger.

So Paris drinks a bit. What the hell, so did Nixon. Nixon bugged the oval office and kept illegal records of his conversations. Paris would put a webcam in the presidential bedroom, and the SCOTUS has already declared that to be free and protected speech. So what’s the problem? It would certainly give Fox News something to report, and give Rush Limbaugh lots of important things to rant about. And if you are worried that she will be like Bill Clinton and be indulging in oral sex in the Oval Office, at least she won’t be asking for it in public rest rooms like Larry Craig.

A Paris presidency will be the best thing that ever happened to American politics. It will keep the masses entertained with all the sex and scandal it could want without as much as threatening corporate interests. I mean really, why pay attention to the War in Iraq, Global Warming, The Christianoid take-over of the Justice Dept. and the military, the real estate melt down, rising gas prices, and unemployment when you could be paying attention to Paris? Think of all the tax money that could be saved by Paris creating her own scandals instead of having scandals thought up by public relations agents? The White House could cut its staffing in half just from the P.R. Hacks they could fire.

Now a lot of my friends get really angry at me when I tell them this. They tell me that they are voting for Obama because they want change in government. They want change they can count on. Well, I always say that if you want to see where a candidate really stands, go and see how he votes when the public isn’t looking. So I show them this website.


Type in Barack Obama and you can see how Obama voted on all the major issues. I know how excited you Obama supporters are to be able to see just how your man is going to create change in the government. I don’t really have the heart to tell you that Obama has either abstained or failed to be present at most of the votes that matter the most. He abstained from voting on the Iraq war. He voted in favor of some minor health care reforms, but otherwise, Obama has been utterly neutral in all the major issues that affect this country. So it is a total fantasy to think that Obama represents any sort of change in this country, and if you are going to vote for a fantasy; I say vote for a fantasy you can get off on.

This November, Vote for Paris Hilton, The Only Change That Matters In Washington.