The Red King Wakes

I Don't Want to Go to Rehab

I Don't Want to Go to Rehab

Can the Red King wake up? Is it possible for him to overcome his petrochemical addiction and rejoin the rest of us in consensual reality? Quite frankly, I don’t see where he has a choice. The Earth is not squeezing out any more dinosaur juice, and God is not putting it back when he is not looking. Neither Jesus nor Mohammad will be coming back to bring him to heaven so he can escape the consequences of his actions. Back in 1998 Ramsey Clarke’s oil supply report warned him that there was only twenty years of oil left in the Middle East. It’s 2008 now. We are half way to the deadline, and The Red King is already paying for the increased price of petroleum production at the pumps.

Petroleum will never be as cheap as it had been for the last century. Middle Eastern oil was unique in the world. As oil becomes more difficult to extract and refine, there will be more and more little wars as the stronger nations steal the oil from the weaker nations. Meanwhile we will watch oil prices sneak up to $10 a gallon. This is the stage of addiction where the junkie mugs unwary passersby for the money to pay his pusher. So don’t expect a Democrat to avoid a war with Iran. The Red King is starting to tweak. He is too deep into his addiction to be able to visualize life without it. He will rationalize his actions with such excuses as national security, or they hate America, but The Red King will try to mug Iran for the oil he is addicted to no matter what party takes office.

Those little wars are going to make the oil pushers happy. As his fear of withdrawal increases, the Red King will use more oil instead of less. War will use up the oil so that the supply will decrease even faster. We might see the end of Middle Eastern oil production within the next three or four years. Then just watch the prices rise at the pump. The oil pushers will be making unprecedented profits as the domestic sale of gasoline is rationed for the war effort.

Maybe then the Red King will start realizing that his addiction is killing him. Hopefully, the sight of the Middle East, abandoned and poisoned by depleted uranium, will make him realize how his addiction affects the world around him. I doubt it. It’s not as if Ecologists and Peace Activists have not been trying to explain it to him for years. The Red King has been warned and warned about what his addiction is doing to the world. Perhaps when there is plenty of oil for the war effort and none left to run his car, The Red King might wake up and realize what he has been killing himself.

No addict ever goes for help until he reaches his low,andThe Red King has sunk to unimaginable lows. He has forced thousands of American citizens into homelessness just to keep his pushers happy. He has rounded up thousands of imaginary enemies of the state to be tortured in off shore prisons. Over the years, The Red King has destroyed coastlines, and wildernesses in his blind desperate panic to guarantee his next fix. The Red King has poisoned the air and caused the extinction of thousands of plant and animal species. He has created all this destruction just to guaranty tomorrow’s high. It’s pretty plain to see that The Red King is dreaming in the gutter.

It’s pretty obvious that The Red King is too far gone in his addiction to just taper off. Tapering off is too little too late. Maybe if he started back in the Carter Administration when gas was being rationed, he might have been able to taper off on his oil habit. However, 20 years ago, the Red King was still denying he was an addict. He was still making up excuses not to quit The idea of quitting caused him to panic. How was he going to run his car? How would he get to work? How was he going to impress the girls/boys? Where would the electricity come from? He had 10,000 excuses to ignore his addiction.

Then of course there were the excuses became wilder and wilder. The biggest lie the Red King told himself was that Jesus was coming back to bring him to heaven. So The Red King could snort all the oil he wanted. There would be no need for oil in the Kingdom of Heaven. Another excuses he told himself were that the gas shortage was all the fault of American hating Arabs or a Mossad created conspiracy. Then of course there was the most popular rationalization of all: “we haven’t run out of oil yet”.

Now the oil is indeed running out and the Red King is going to be going into withdrawal very soon. The first symptom will be the collapse of the automotive industry. Outsourcing has guaranteed its demise. As the price of transportation increases, importing finished parts from overseas will begin to cost too much. Cars will become too expensive to build. Wal-Mart will be the next industry to collapse as overseas transportation becomes too expensive. American made goods will become less expensive than Chinese imports. The entire neocon world economy will fall to pieces without the oil industry to prop it up. The dollar will fall like a rock as oil production is no longer able to support the American GNP. Bringing America’s industrial base back home and putting Americans back to work is the only way to prevent the dollar from collapsing.

War itself will become too unprofitable to pursue. The Military-Industrial complex depends on petroleum to run its tanks and trucks. The price of exporting weapons will become to expensive to be profitable. War as a means of economic bullying will become unprofitable as well. It will simply be too expensive to send the troops overseas. The troops will be better used in civilian production jobs. Military spending will drop as there will be no reason to have a military in the first place.

Most of us simply don’t make enough money to worry about a fall in the standard of living. Instead, We will be watching a lot of the neocon’s fall to our standard of living. We may no longer have automobiles, but there will be public transportation. Trains will make a come back. We will still have computers. They will become cheaper and more durable. Buying a computer will be an investment rather than something to be discarded after a year. The Internet will still be here as computers can be run on solar power as well as any other power source. The consumer lifestyle will end, but global warming will slow and maybe even reverse.

See, Red King? There is life after addiction. That life could actually be better than living in the constant fear of running out of your drug. The only reason that you were an addict was that you were afraid of change. Well change is the only constant in life. Change can be for the better as well as for the worse. Only you can choose which it is going to be. You can choose to go forward into the post-oil society, or you can kill us all trying to maintain it. We are anxiously waiting for you to decide what you are going to do.

Are the Goddamned Olympics Over Yet?

Are the Goddamned Olympics Over Yet?


The Red King’s Dream

Another Junkie Dozing in People's Park

Another Junkie Dozing in People's Park

There are times when I feel as if I am living in a dream. I start thinking that I got really toasted at a frat party and crashed in the back room. Any minute now I am going to be woken up by a horny coed and discover that the last 30 years never happened. Ol’ Rotten Ronnie Rayguns had never been elected president. The American public laughed him out of politics as they reelected Carter in a landslide victory. In the next election Walter Mondale and his running mate, Jessie Jackson will lead America into a golden age where American jobs were never outsourced and unions continued keeping America working. The War on Poverty ended by us kicking poverty in the ass instead of poverty kicking ours. Hybrid cars were introduced in 1985, and subsidized by a tax on the petroleum industry. Global Warming was not stopped, but it was kept in check through careful management of our precious and irreplaceable planet. That’s the reality I wish I could wake up to.

I simply have to accept the fact that I am awake and living in the Red King’s dream. The world is a waking nightmare where the poor are blamed for their own plight as their jobs are shipped off to the mysterious east. One of cable T.V.’s top shows is about a woman who has to sell pot in order to maintain a middle class lifestyle, and nobody sees this as strange. There was a time when I thought the world could not become as surreal as the New Age of the Reagan Administration. Can anything be more ridiculous than grown-ups gazing into crystals while their fellow citizens are being reduced to homelessness, and then blaming the homeless for not being spiritual enough? Holy Protestant Work Ethic, Batman!

At this point, I have to assume that the Red King is peaking on whatever drug he’s tripping on, because now Nancy Pelosi has adopted Paris Hilton’s energy policy. I want some of whatever the Red King’s tripping on! Maybe then I can see something good about off shore drilling and nuclear reactors. Forget about off shore drilling. The difficulty and expense of extracting the oil, combined with the expense and difficulty of refining the crude into petroleum, will not reverse rising gas prices. All it will accomplish is assuring oil company profits. Nuclear reactors are an even more idiotic idea. Reactor grade uranium is amongst the most dangerous substances in the world, and what do they do with it? They use it to boil water for a giant steam engine! If that steam engine runs out of water, the uranium will melt down to the center of the earth and poisons us all. Aside from the peril, reactor grade uranium is even rarer than oil, and will run out in under 20 years of steady use. Besides, the only thing that anyone has thought to do with the waste is use it for tank and bullet casings or to irradiate food. The entire Middle East is going to become an unlivable nuclear wasteland in a matter of years due to depleted uranium, and god alone knows what irradiated food will do to us. Once again, the only thing that nuclear reactors are good for is creating corporate profits.

I think that the Red King is tripping on petrochemicals and we are all sharing his hallucinations. Economists and geologists have been warning us that the oil is running out since I was a young teenager. There is no source of oil as cheap and easy to refine as Middle Eastern oil. We had a taste of things to come back in 1973 and 1979 when OPEC flexed its muscles and embargoed oil to the U.S . We had rationing and rising gas prices then, but all the Red King did was what he needed to do to assure himself a steady supply of candy. Then he went right back to dreaming up idiocies like SUVs and Hummers. What do you think the Red King is going to do when the Middle Eastern oil is really runs out? Other sources of oil are simply not as easy to extract nor as cheap to refine. Oil prices are going to continue to rise until the Red King won’t be able to afford his addiction any more.

Like all addicts, the Red King makes up excuses for his actions. For instance, Intelligent Design is one of those lies. Intelligent Design denies that oil is millions of years old and constitutes the remains of dinosaurs. I.T also implies that God will simply add in more dinosaur juice while we’re not looking. Face it fundies, God is not adding more oil while we are not looking. Maybe in another billion years we’ll be the dinosaur juice that the cockroaches will be using to fill their gas tanks. Until then we are going to have to get ready for when the Red King starts going cold turkey after he can no longer afford the gasoline that powers his delusions.

Right now the Red King is panicking because his candy supply is running short. Like any other junkie, he’s using more of his drug of choice as the panic sets in. Just as a junkie will mug somebody in the street in order to feed his habit, the Red King sent troops into Iraq to make sure he has what he needs to feel good. Rather than rationing himself and making what he has last, the Red King is snorting up the oil like it’s going out of style. Still, the Red King is denying that he has a problem. Everything is somebody else’s fault and never his. The Red King will blame Middle Eastern terrorists for hating America. The Red King will blame OPEC and Hugo Chavez for wanting to make a fair profit on their resources. The Red King will even blame the very geologists and ecologists who have been warning him of his addiction. Everyone gets blamed except the Red King himself.

So where does that leave the multinational oil companies who have been the Red King’s pushers? As oil becomes scarce and prices rise, they are running around like ants trying to keep the Red King calm. They are promising him things they cannot deliver. They are promising to do something about the price of gasoline in defiance of the laws of supply and demand. Other sources of oil are too hard to extract and too wasteful to refine to be cheap and profitable. Yet the oil corporations are telling the Red King that exploiting our Alaskan wilderness and ruining our beaches with off shore drilling will bring back cheap gas. McCain, Obama, and Clinton are proposing energy policies that could have worked in 1979, but the Red King didn’t want to cut his Oil Consumption back then. He was busy denying that he was an addict and claiming that he could stop anytime he wanted. Today it is too late. They are crushing oil out of shale in Saudi Arabia, and the Iraqi oil fields are on fire. The Red King is starting withdrawal right in the face and he’s panicking so badly he’s ready to send out the troops to mug Iran.

So what are the multinationals going to do when the Red King starts going into withdrawal after over 100 years of petrochemical addiction? They are going to do what any pusher will do when they are about to get caught; they are going to run away. They are going to pack up all their oil profits and disappear. When the tweaked out Red King comes looking for them, all the Red King is going to find is Barack Obama in the White House. That’s right people, America’s oil pushers are going to leave the Black Guy holding the bag while the Red King tweaks.

People not Profits

People not Profits